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My word for 2010 was “Focused Solitude.”
When I chose this word for the year I had grand hopes of just slowing down, of quieting the noise of my life, of taking time to look inside to discover to a greater extent the creative me. Now, ironically, I find myself on the brink of a new phase of my life that will include extreme solitude. I would like to embrace it willingly but I find that I am petrified by the prospect.
How can you honestly embrace solitude without berating yourself for being there in the first place - solitude brought about by broken relationship? How do you look deep inside when you have no real-time outlet for what you discover? How do you answer the question every day, “What’s the point?”
I have come to believe that I am simply the way that God has chosen to express himself to the world - His creation, a facet of His character, a mere hint of His passion, joy, love and creativity.
In the solitude of 2010 what is there for me to discover? What depth must I plumb? What reward on the other side ? I would not be honest if I did not say that I am afraid.
If the saying "Energy flows where attention goes," is true, I MUST find a way to frame my attention toward the excellent. I must bend my mind toward the positive. I must search relentlessly for the reason and purpose of my life. Be in prayer for me my friend for I am on a difficult journey. Something deep, profound, exciting, is waiting to be discovered and I am determined to share it with the world.